bienvenidos! (i hope i spelled that right)

welcome back to hell! oh i mean school. does anyone know how many more days until summer vacation?

How to write a paper

I wanted to post this because this is exactly how I write a paper or do homework. (And probably for most of you too.)

1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.

2. Check your email.

3. Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain you understand it.

4. Walk down to the vending machines and buy some coffee to help you concentrate.

5. Check your email.

6. Stop off at another floor on the way back and visit with your friend from class. If your friend hasn't started the paper yet either, you can both walk to McDonalds and buy a hamburger to help you concentrate. If your friend shows you his/her paper, typed, double-spaced, and bound in one of those irritating see-thru plastic folders, drop him/her.

7. When you get back to your room, sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.

8. Read over the assignment again to make absolutely certain you understand it.

9. Check your email.

10. You know, you haven't written to that kid you met at camp since the fourth grade. You'd better write that letter now and get it out of the way so you can concentrate.

11. Look at your teeth in the bathroom mirror.

12. Listen to one side of your favorite tape and that's it. I mean it. As soon as it's over you are going to start that paper.

13. Listen to the other side.

14. Check your email.

15. Rearrange all of your CDs into alphabetical order.

16. Phone your friend on the other floor and ask if he/she has started writing yet. Exchange derogatory remarks about your professor, course, the university, the world at large.

17, Sit in a straight, comfortable chair. Have a Lifesaver. Savor its special flavor across your tongue.

18. Check your email.

19. Check the newspaper listings to make sure you aren't missing something truly worthwhile on TV. Note: When you have a paper due in less than 12 hours, anything on TV from Masterpiece Theater to Sgt. Preston of the Yukon is truly worthwhile, with these exceptions:
a) Pro Bowlers Tour
b) any movie starring Don Ameche

20. Catch the last hour of Soul Brother of Kung Fu on Channel 26.

21. Phone your friend on the third floor to see if he/she was watching. Discuss the finer points of the plot.

22. Check your email.

23. Look at your tongue in the bathroom mirror.

24. Look through your roommate's book of pictures from home. Ask who everyone is.

25. Sit down and do some serious thinking about your plans for the future.

26. Open our door and check to see if there are any mysterious, trench-coated strangers lurking in the hall.

27. Check your email.

28. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils.

29. Read over the assignment one more time, just for the heck of it.

30. Scoot your chair across the room to the window and watch the sunrise.

31. Lie face down on the floor and moan.

32. Check your email.

33. Leap up and write the paper.

34. Type the paper, and while you're at it, check your email.

35. Complain to everyone that you didn't get any sleep because you had to write that darn paper

Not sure if it's true, but...

Coke Ain't No Joke
Water
1. 75% of Americans are chronically dehydrated. (Likely applies to half the world population.)

2. In 37% of Americans, the thirst mechanism is so weak that it is often mistaken for hunger.

3. Even MILD dehydration will slow down one's metabolism as much as 3%.

4. One glass of water will shut down midnight hunger pangs for almost 100% of the dieters studied in a U-Washington study.

5. Lack of water, the #1 trigger of daytime fatigue.

6. Preliminary research indicates that 8-10 glasses of water a day could significantly ease back and joint pain for up to 80% of sufferers.

7. A mere 2% drop in body water can trigger fuzzy short-term memory, trouble with basic math, and difficulty focusing on the computer screen or on a printed page.

8. Drinking 5 glasses of water daily decreases the risk of colon cancer by 45%, plus it can slash the risk of breast cancer by 79%, and one is 50% less likely to develop bladder cancer.

Are you drinking the amount of water you should every day?

Coke
1. In many states (in the USA) the highway patrol carries two gallons of Coke in the truck to remove blood from the highway after a car accident.

2. You can put a T-bone steak in a bowl of coke and it will be gone in two days.

3. To clean a toilet: Pour a can of Coca-Cola into the toilet bowl and let the "real thing" sit for one hour, then flush clean. The citric acid in Coke removes stains from vitreous China.

4. To remove rust spots from chrome car bumpers: Rub the bumper with a rumpled-up piece of Reynolds Wrap aluminum foil dipped in Coca-Cola.

5. To clean corrosion from car battery terminals: Pour a can of Coca-Cola over the terminals to bubble away the corrosion.

6. To loosen a rusted bolt: Applying a cloth soaked in Coca-Cola to the rusted bolt for several minutes.

7. To bake a moist ham: Empty a can of Coca-Cola into the baking pan, wrap the ham in aluminum foil, and bake. Thirty minutes before the ham is finished, remove the foil, allowing the drippings to mix with the Coke for a sumptuous brown gravy.

8. To remove grease from clothes: Empty a can of coke into a load of greasy clothes, add detergent, and run through a regular cycle. The Coca-Cola will help loosen grease stains. It will also clean road haze from your windshield. Check it out.

For Your Info :
1. The active ingredient in Coke is phosphoric acid. Its pH is 2.8. It will dissolve a nail in about 4 days. Phosphoric acid also leaches calcium from bones and is a major contributor to the rising increase in osteoporosis.

2. To carry Coca-Cola syrup (the concentrate) the commercial truck must use the Hazardous material place cards reserved for highly corrosive materials.

3. The distributors of coke have been using it to clean the engines of their trucks for about 20 years!

Now the question is, would you like a glass of water or coke?

Morning!

On behalf of everyone, thanx for the well-wishes, Vangy! U r0x0r!

" 'Is that a fake moustache?'
'No it's not!'
'Wait, who are you?'
'No it's not!'

:P

Good morning

Good morning everyone. Just wanted to say hi and hopefully I get to see you all during spring break. Till then good luck on any midterms you might have left and on any up coming finals. Bye bye, take care, and have fun. :)